Forgive Me, Love, I Had Not Known
by Miracle Vedilien
Summary: ******OLD(see bio)******Lies and deceit can break a man's heart,but when he has the chance to correct mistakes from long ago, will Severus Snape risk his pride? PG-13 for language.FINISHED
1. Every Single Bit

Severus Love story Takes place during the year after GoF. A/N and disclaimer at bottom.   


> > > > > > > > **Every Single Bit**

  
_I kneel on the floor and look up at her as I watch her step closer closer to me. "I've been waiting, Severus."_   
_Her voice is so beautiful. If only I could capture it. "Gabriella..." I can only murmur her name, helplessly trapped by her eyes. Her wonderful eyes._   
_"Where have you been?" She asks._   
_"Oh, Gabriella. I've been here. Waiting for you. Thinking about you and the day we see each other again."_   
_"Waiting? Waiting for _me_? Ha!" She tilts her head up and laughs. Laughs straight into the cold, crystal clear night that I just realize has appeared around us. Then she stares down at me. Her eyes hold no sign of merriment and her face is vacant of her wonderful smile. The breath-taking smile that I love so much. Her voice cuts through the night's silence. "Don't lie, Severus. You know I hate it when you do."_   
_It is my turn to stare. "But, but, I'm not lying Gabriella! I _have_ been waiting! I love you! I love you so much!"_   
_"You? Love me?" She grins, but it is a grin with no humor. I nod helplessly. "You don't love me."_   
_"But I do, Gabriella! I do! With all my heart!"_   
_"Then why did you join them?" She does no need to add who "them" means. We both know what she is talking about. "Why did you kill her? Kill him? Kill them?"_   
_"I don't know." I whisper and look hopelessly at the floor._   
_"You say you love me?" I nod again. "Then prove it."_   
_I look up sharply. "How?"_   
_"Catch me."_   
_"What?"_   
_"Catch me." She says simply. And suddenly she is no longer in front of me. Our surroundings change. I don't realize that, though. I'm too busy looking up at her, standing up at the top of a cliff. I don't even realize that I'm floating in the air, a hundred feet above the sea, without a broom. And she stands there, at the edge of the cliff, thousands of feet above me._   
_"Gabriella!" I cry. "Gabriella, come back! "_   
_"Catch me, Severus. Catch me."_   
_And then she jumps._   
_I try to move. Try do something, anything, to catch her. But I can't. I cannot move. And I watch helplessly as she falls past my motionless form. She hits the blue surface of the ocean below me. My screams pierce the air. "Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" And then I am falling, falling down to hit the slapping, icy waves below me._   
_But I don't hit them. Instead, I hit the dusty, dry ground. I cough on the dust that fills my nose, my mouth, and stops me from breathing._   
_"Ah, so nice of you to drop in, Severus." The Dark Lord's voice is laced with a cruel humor that I know too well._   
_I look up at him through the dust. I stagger to my feet, my own fear replacing the dust and stopping the air from filling my lungs._   
_"You- you evil, horrible, terrible man! You killed her didn't you? You pushed her!!!"_   
_Those vermilion evil eyes hold a humor to them that I cannot call anything but malicious. How very like the Dark Lord, with his sadistic ways._   
_"Now, Severus, we both know it wasn't my fault. You could have caught her. But instead you decided to just stand there and watch her fall. She's dead, Severus. Dead. And it's all your fault. You don't love her." And then, though it was the Dark Lord's face and the Dark Lord's mouth that formed the words, it was Gabriella's voice that came out. "You don't love me."_   
_And I wept. I lay on the ground that had changed to marble, in the dark room that had appeared around me, and wept, the sobs raking my body. I wept and wept, alone in my agony. " Gabriella!" I cried. "Gabriella, come back to me!" I slammed the floor with both of my fists. "Gabriella," I moaned. "Gabriella, come back. Gabriella, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love..." My voice trailed off as my sobs echoed in the room and I was alone with my sorrow._

> > > > > > > > _~*~_

Severus Snape sat up in bed. Despite the fact that he was drenched in sweat, his whole body shivered. _Dammit_, he thought. _What the heck is happening to me? _That was the third dream -or nightmare- he had had that week. It wasn't as if he never dreamed like this. The dreams about *her* came often enough. He got up out of his bed. There was no way he would be able to go back to sleep tonight. Not without any assistance. He walked over to his personal cabinet of potions and looked on the lowest shelf where he kept his sleeping draughts in case of any dreams like the one he just had. They had proved extra handy the past two weeks. For some reason, he had been having more and more dreams lately. It probably didn't help that his Dark Mark had returned. The main reason for Voldemort being in his dreams was probably because of his recent return. But what of Gabriella? _Severus, you idiot. You always dream about her. How could you not? _ He scolded himself. He studied the labels on the potion bottles and cursed when he found he was out of the specific draught he was looking for. How could that be? He always had an extra bottle. And then he remembered. He'd used the remains of his last batch the previous night. He'd planned on brewing a new one yesterday, but he'd been too busy.   
Now what to do? He would never get back to sleep. He was too restless. Deciding to take a walk, Severus changed into a pair of robes and slipped out the door to his personal quarters. He passed the entrance to the Slytherin Tower. As the head of the house, he got a room close by. Personally he would prefer to live somewhere else in the school. It was always so loud in there. It was the worst on holidays and when they decided to have parties, and often Severus stayed up late into the night, trying unsuccessfully to fall asleep. He'd given up telling them to be quiet long ago. They never listened.   
Finally, Severus walked through the Entrance Hall and walked through the door into the cool, crisp night. A crescent hung in a clear sky adorned with twinkling stars that reminded Severus of Gabriella's eyes. He quickly tore his own eyes away from them. He walked blindly, not really caring where his feet took him. His thoughts were always upon Gabriella. The way she always met him after class. The way she always cheered him up. The way her beautiful brown hair always fell just so. The way she stuck by him when Potter and his gang insulted him, even though she was Lily's friend and Lily was Potter's girlfriend. They both had almost lost everything when certain people had found out about their more than friendly relationship, with her being a Gryffindor and he being a Slytherin. And through it all, she hadn't cared. Hadn't cared one bit about what might have happened. So they loved each other happily... Until that day. That one horrible day. Severus remembered it with a harsh clearness. 

_Gabriella was waiting for him after class just as usual. They were both in their seventh year. He walked out and caught up with her. God, he loved her so much. His hand caught hers. "How was class today?" she asked._   
_"OK, but it would have been better if you were there." He grinned._   
_Gabriella grinned. "Same here. I missed you today, Sevi."_   
_"I did too." He said truthfully. "Come here." Gently he led her out of the rush of students and outside into the beautiful light of day . "There," he said, "That's better. We can have some privacy."_   
_Gabriella's smile turned coy. "Oh, really?"_   
_"Yes, my love. Now, come here!" He reached an arm out and pulled her to him, catching her lips in a kiss. She kissed him back. "Did you like that, love?"_   
_"Oh, yes." She replied breathlessly._   
_"Good. 'Cause there's more. "He kissed her again._

_Later at dinner, Severus had picked at his food. Lucius Malfoy had reminded him of the unlikeliness of their situation and how Severus should end it fast._

_"She isn't one of us, Severus."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"You know what I mean, Severus! She isn't our kind. She's a bloody Gryffindor!"_

_"Your point is..." Severus had known what Lucius was getting at._

_"My point is that she and you _cannot_ be associated with one another! Your little love relationship must stop!"_

_"It isn't a love relationship," Severus lied. "She's just helping me on my homework, as I help her in potions."_

_"I don't care what_ _you call it. But it must, and will, stop. Or else that job I had secured for you won't be so secure anymore." Lucius had promised Severus that he would get him a job for this summer after they had graduated. Severus was pretty sure it wasn't exactly a respectful job, but he truly didn't have much choice. No one would take him on with his father being held in Azkaban. But he didn't care about some stupid job. It was what Lucius said next that scared Severus. "And you won't be seeing your precious Gabriella again if you don't stop. I can promise you that."_

_"Fine," Severus said. The next words hurt as they came out but he said them anyway. It was for Gabriella's sake. "My relationship with Gabriella will end."_

_"Good, Severus. Very good." Lucius smirked and walked away._   


_Now, as Severus stood up from his barely touched plate of food and walked out of the Great Hall, the words echoed in his mind. "My relationship with Gabriella will end... My relationship with Gabriella will end..." He swore. What was he going to do? His thoughts were upon this when he realized where he was. Without noticing, he had walked outside and made his way to a bench in some bushes. He sat down upon the bench when he heard a sound behind him. Startled, he jumped up and whirled around. "Who's there?" He called, wand at the ready._   
_"It's just me, Sevi." Gabriella. It was Gabriella. What was he going to say to her?_   
_He did the one thing he could think of, knowing how much he would regret it later. "My name is Severus. And it's Snape for you."_   
_"What?" Gabriella was bewildered. "Sevi, it's me, Gabriella."_   
_"I know. And I'm saying that my name is Severus Snape. Never, ever call me Sevi again."_   
_"Sevi- I mean Severus- what has gotten into you?" She looked close to tears._   
_"Sense. Sense has gotten into me." Every word stung as it left his mouth. He wished he could hug her and kiss her and comfort her, but he couldn't. " The sense to realize what a fool I've been to ever think I loved you. I suggest that from now on, you leave me alone. I don't believe I could ever love you, a Gryffindor! And a Mudblood at that." He hadn't said that, had he? God, he hoped he hadn't said that. And yet he knew he did. He had called his love, the one person he ever really cared for, a Mudblood. And not only that. No, he wasn't done tearing both of their hearts out. Now he had to shred them to bits and pieces. "And I never, ever, EVER, want to see this piece of garbage again." She had given him a ring last Christmas. It was a silver serpent formed into a circle for the band, with emeralds as the eyes. Slowly, and painfully, he took the ring off his finger and threw it at her. The ring fell to the ground._   
_Tears streamed down her face as she bent down to pick it up, staring incredulously at it._   
_"Good-bye, Gabriella."_   
_She did one thing before she turned around and ran away. She took a step up to him and slapped him. Hard. "Severus Snape- I hate you!" And then she fled. He put a hand up on his cheek where she had hit him. And his own tears flowed freely as he sat down on the bench, hung his head in his hands, and cried and cried and cried._

A single tear fell from Severus's eye as he remembered it. He quickly wiped it away and looked around at where he was. He was taken back in surprise. He had ended up behind the bush where he had been on that very night that Gabriella had left his life. But, he realized with more surprise, there was someone sitting on the bench on the other side of the bush. And that someone was crying. Who would be out this late other than he? And why were they crying? Slowly, carefully, quietly, he crept around the bush. He almost gasped in surprise.   
Was it- could it be? Was it Gabriella? With her beautiful brown hair? Severus's heart fell when he realized it wasn't Gabriella at all -how could it be?- but Hermione Granger.   
Severus cleared his throat. "Miss Granger?"   
The girl looked up, surprised. Then she realized who she was looking at. "Professor! I-I-I'm sorry! I have a legitimate excuse for this, I promise! Please, I know I'm in trouble, but-"   
Severus raised an eyebrow in wry amusement and out a hand up to stop the girl. "It seems that you already have enough trouble on your hands without me adding to it." He said, not unkindly. He felt a wave of sympathy that was most unlike him for the girl and sat down next to her on the bench. Pulling a black handkerchief out, he used it to clean the girl's tear streaked face. "Now," he said, knowing how uncharacteristic this was for him, "what happened?"   
Hermione looked surprised at first. Severus didn't blame her considering how he usually treated her- and all the students in general- in class. But then she seemed to think about what had happened to her and her tears started up again. "Oh, Professor! It was horrible! He- he-" But that was all she could get out before she gave out a choked sob.   
"Shh! It's OK." Severus said, trying to comfort the girl. He knew he was going to hate himself in the morning for this. "Who is 'he'? And what did he do?"   
"I can't tell you who he is, but I love him so much.."   
"Oh, can I guess then?"   
"You probably wouldn't get it."   
"We'll see. Hmmm... Let me see. How about... Draco Malfoy?"   
"How'd you know? Is it really that obvious?"   
Wait, wait. Granger liked Malfoy? He had just been kidding! It was meant as a joke to cheer her up. But it was true? "No, no, I was just randomly guessing," he assured her. "Well, what's wrong with the fact that you love him?"   
Granger just stared at him. "What's wrong? What's wrong! He's a Slytherin! That's what's wrong! No offense."   
"None taken. I think I get your point. It's the fact that your a Gryffindor and he's a Slytherin, isn't it?"   
She nodded. "But that's not it. I mean, we were handling the Gryffindor, Slytherin thing pretty well, and I don't know what happened. It's just that tonight he called me aside and he was really mean and all. He said he should have never even met me, and that he was sorry he ever laid eyes on me and- and- and he called me a Mudblood!" The girl started crying again.   
Severus handed her his handkerchief and, for lack of a better thing to do, wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, rocking back forth, all the while wondering if someone had added something to his goblet of pumpkin juice at dinner. At the same time he went over the situation, finding it all too familiar. Lucius must have told his son to tell her what he Draco did. Lucius had a knack at doing things like that and ruining people's lives. Severus knew from personal experience. Well, it seemed he would have to pay Lucius a visit. "Shh!" He tried to comfort the girl in his arms. (A/N: Hermione would have been shocked and maybe even disgusted at her Professor's behavior but she was too... _emotionally distressed_) "Listen," he said looking at her in the face. "I know you think Draco meant everything he said, but I think, and with good reason, too, that he was told by someone, namely his father, to tell you that. If he loved you, which I'm sure he did, he would have never said that, but his father forced him to say it."   
"But, why would Mr. Malfoy do something like that? And besides, even if he did tell Draco that, what are Draco and I to do about him?"   
"Oh, he has his reasons. Believe me. I happen to know him very well. A little too well. As for what to do about him, leave that up to me. I'll take care of it."   
Hermione looked up at him and smiled, while biting her lower lip. "You would?"   
He smiled the tiniest bit. "Yes, I would, under one condition, though."   
The smile left her face. "What?"   
"You won't tell anyone- not even Weasley and Potter- especially not Potter- about tonight."   
She smiled again. "What night?"   
"Good. Now, get up to your dorm. And don't get caught on your way there!"   
"I won't," the girl promised. She stood up and started to walk away. She had taken about three steps when she stopped and turned around. "Professor?"   
"Yes?"   
"Thank you. Thank you, so much. I never thought..." She trailed off.   
"Never thought what?"   
"I guess that you could be so nice."   
"Well, get to know your teachers better next time, Granger, before you go off and make assumptions." Severus's voice was kind.   
"I will, Professor. I will. Goodnight."   
"Goodnight, Hermione."   
And then the young girl turned around and walked away, but not without having her face light up at the fact that she was called by her first name for a change. 

Later, Severus would write Lucius Malfoy and tell him they needed to talk. Later, he would realize what he'd done that night and question his sanity. Later, he would return to his usual fitful sleep filled with visions of his love, Gabriella. But that was later. At the current moment, as Severus sat on he bench under the blanket full of stars, and smiled. He smiled and somehow, just somehow he knew he would sleep well that night. _Look, my love, _he thought. _I 'm getting another chance. I love you so much. _ He looked up at the stars that looked like his Gabriella's eyes. They _were_ his Gabriella's eyes. And they were looking down upon him and watching out for him. And they saw him, inside and out. They saw every joy, every sorrow, every gain, every loss, every nook, every cranny, and everything in between. And they loved him. Loved every single bit of him. And he loved every single bit of them. 

-Fin. 

A/N: OK, this was kinda random when it came up, and I had to write it. I do realise that ther might be some parts in here that are very close to other fics so realise if it sounds like your fic, it probably was inspired by your fic. I'm not very good at romance. I've not really experienced it so you understand I'm not very good at writng this. This so did not end up the way I had planned it to. It ended up happyish and I had planned it to be sad. Oh, well. I know Snape is _very, very_ OOC. I should have warned you. Sorry. Anyway, I'm exhausted. It's 2:33 AM. Night all! 

Disclaimer: I do not own the HP characters...yadda..yadda...yadda...you know the rest. Oh and you heard what I said. A lot of the flashbacks I was inspired to write from things I've read. Please don't sue me. I wrote this for the fun of writing it. Not the publicity. 

Go Review, so I can get better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hugs!   
  
  
  
  



	2. Like Father, Like Son

A/N: Sorry about the huge gap between chapters. I hadn't thought that people would want the story to continue… It was just supposed to end with the one chapter, but so many people told me to continue, so… just for all of you, I came up with a *plot* for this! Yay! Anyhow… go read! And enjoy!!!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and Co. belong to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. All I own is the plot, and Gabriella, sorta kinda….

**Like Father, Like Son**

Lucius Malfoy was in a very good mood the day he got the letter.  He walked into his study, his hair still wet from a shower; he hadn't felt like drying it. He had started working at his desk when there was a knock on the door. He looked up, slightly irritated to have his work interrupted. "Enter," he called.

            The door swung open and a youth of fifteen walked in. "Good morning, Father," He brushed a piece of blonde hair away from his hair nonchalantly.

            "Good morning, Draco. I believe you have a good reason for disrupting my work?"

            "Yes, this came for you." He tossed a letter on his desk.

            Lucius glanced at it. He didn't need to read it to know who it was from. He could recognize Severus Snape's handwriting within seconds. It had proved helpful during the Dark Lord's reign. "Thank you, Draco."

            The boy nodded, the dismissal obvious. He started to leave, but, as he reached the door, Lucius stopped him. "Draco, I'll be out on business next Saturday during the break. You'll be in charge in my absence. I expect you to take care of the house while I'm gone."

"Of course, Father," Draco smiled. "Are you going for another one, then?"

            "Another *what,* boy?"

            "You know…"

            "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now go, I have work to do!" Draco nodded but knew otherwise from the grin that Lucius wore. He left with a slight smirk, knowing without a doubt that his father was indeed going for another of his special "meetings."

            "Nosy boy," Lucius muttered to himself. But he was proud. The boy was exactly like he had been at that age and he was proving himself worthy for the initiation next year. Which was just as well, as the Dark Lord had high expectations for the Malfoy boy…

Lucius picked up the letter. He broke the seal on it and read it, amusement crossing his face.

_* Lucius,_

_I'll skip the pleasantries if you don't mind; I haven't much time for such things. Have you anytime during the Christmas break? We need to talk. For your son's sake I hope you do. I await your reply._

_                                                                                                                                                  -S.S.*_

So, Severus wanted to talk? Lucius smirked. This could be just what he needed: a good laugh. Of *course_* _they'd talk. He picked up his letter and wrote the short reply.

*~*~*

Severus Snape sighed before fixing his face in his signature scowl. He knocked the door of the great Malfoy Mansion. He pulled his robes closer around his body and shivered a bit, the cold adding to his expression.  Finally, the door was opened by a small house elf. 

"Master Malfoy is waiting for you, Sir! Sir must hurry inside!"  It squeaked.

Severus gratefully stepped out of the cold into the warmth of the Malfoy Mansion.  "Ah, Severus. How good to see you."

"Lucius." He turned and nodded in greeting to the other man. The house elf was trying desperately to get Severus' cloak off. Severus took it off and gave it to the elf. It took the cloak and hung it on a hook by the door- with some difficulty because the hook was higher than he was. 

Lucius looked annoyed with the elf's behavior. "I believe you wished to discuss something?" Severus nodded once more in reply. "Why don't you follow me to the study?" He started walking towards a large mahogany door. Severus gathered himself and followed the other man through it. 

"Would you like something to drink? Tea? Or, no, wait, you'd prefer coffee, right?"

Severus smiled wryly and raised an eyebrow. "Lucius, my friend, you know me too well."

"Years of working together tend to do that, Severus." Lucius replied as he nodded to another elf who left the room and returned moments later with the coffee and some tea for Lucius.  

Soon the two men sat across each other sipping at their drinks.  "So, how have you been, Severus?  Still enjoy working for that muggle-lover?" Inquired Lucius. 

Severus rolled his eyes and lied, "It's horrible, really." Still had to play the devoted death-eater, hadn't he?

Lucius sighed in sympathy. "I'd imagine. The Master is happy with your progress."

"Is he?"

"Very."

"Well, that makes it all worth it," said Severus, hoping it sounded like he meant it.  Lucius bought it though, judging by his expression and reply. 

"Certainly. You're a lucky man Severus, to have such a high spot in the Dark Lord's books."

"High enough to be envied?" Severus knew that Lucius was obsessed with being Voldemort's favorite follower. He also knew that Lucius already was, the Malfoy just didn't know it yet. 

Lucius laughed. "Of course, of course!" *Not for long,* he thought to himself. 

Severus queasily laughed along.

"So, tell me, Severus, what did you find so urgent about my son to tell me? He's doing well in school, I hope?"

"He's doing fine, though his Latin *is* slipping."

Lucius frowned. "Indeed? I'll have to look into that." The frown left his face. "But surely you needed to talk about something more than Draco's inability with Latin?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk about Draco's relationship with Hermione Granger." Well, if Severus had had any doubts about how he was going to start this off, they were gone. The words had left his mouth before he had time to think them over. 

Lucius sneered. "That mudblood?" At Severus' nod, his eyes narrowed. "What has she to do with Draco?"

"You don't know?" That was a surprise. Surely… Severus had been so sure that Lucius had told his son to say that… When Lucius shook his head, he informed him. "I believe she's been seeing you son."

There was silence, the Lucius laughed out loud. Severus raised an eyebrow. "Severus, that has to be the funniest thing I've ever heard you say. Since when did you take up joking?"

Severus frowned. "I didn't."

"You really want me to believe you're serious?" 

"Call the boy in then." 

Lucius, still grinning, summoned an elf that was standing nearby and sent it to fetch Draco. He was there within minutes. 

"Yes, Father?" He asked as he slipped through the door. He didn't look surprised to see Severus. "Professor Snape," he nodded.

"Good evening, Draco."

"Draco, Professor Snape has something he'd like to ask you."

The boy looked at the Potions Master quizzically. Severus sighed inwardly and wondered how he'd gotten stuck in this situation. "It's about Miss Granger, Draco," he started.

Draco made a face. "What about her?"

"Have you had any relationship with her, Draco?"

 Draco looked at his father like he was insane. After two minutes, he started laughing, looking uncannily like his father had a little while ago. "That's agood one, Father. What was it that you wanted to ask me, Professor?" 

Hot embarrassment filled Severus, and a burning anger directed to a particular student with cinnamon brown hair. He felt betrayed. He'd finally thought he could make up for his mistakes, for his past… to find he'd once again been made the subject of some students' prank made purely for their own sad amusement. He shook his head, no expression crossing his face as looked at the two Malfoys. "Nothing, Draco, never mind." Severus rose and thanked Lucius for his time. "I hope I didn't interrupt your work too much."

"Leaving already?" Lucius rose with him.

"I have a stack of papers that call for my attention. I had hoped to finish them by tonight, so that I won't have anything to worry about during the rest of break."

"Well, you know your way out, don't you?…"

"Of course. Don't let me keep you from you work any longer." Severus said, a bit quickly, and started to leave the room. The words "good evening" left his mouth as he reached the door. He ignored the house elf that had opened the door for him and grabbed his cloak, storming out the door. It seemed that a nice little chat would be in order between Miss Granger and him…

"Temper, Severus, temper," murmured Lucius to no one in particular. He and Draco looked at each other with grins on their faces before bursting out in laughter. 


	3. History Repeats Itself

A/N: As a safety precaution, I would suggest that you *not* mention Homer or anything related to him while in my presence or within a ten-mile radius of me for the next month or so.

Vimh: "The Iliad."

Me: Aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!! ::attempts to strangle Vimh; when this is unsuccessful, she throws him in a room in her head an locks him in::

Vimh: Hey-!

Me: ::grin:: Much better. We've been working on term papers in school, and our teacher wanted us to turn in our first draft (we're still supposed to be getting used to this sort of paper- according to him). Of course, it was supposed to be finishes and formatted by today and *I* thought it was due *next* week. So the week I get back from a much needed vacation (spent doing homework and errands!) life was… hell. But I got it done and in and I broke out while doing it- but that's not important. What's important is that I'm back- briefly- and I *still* have to do a Spanish paper and an English Report, but I stole a couple of minutes to write this so… Be happy about it! I'm taking out valuable working time here!!!

Ahem, anyhow… I hope you enjoy this chapter! (By the way, this is, I think going to be *the* angsty chapter. Not just any angsty chapter of the story,  *but* the angsty chapter of the story. So brace yourself!)

The Disclaimer: Why I waste my time on this is still a mystery to me. I kinda, sorta own Gabriella in a way… you find out what I mean later. Everyone else is J.K. ROWLING'S all right? I wouldn't *be* here right now if I owned them…SO DON'T SUE! I DON'T OWN ANYTHING- 'CEPT FOR THE PLOT!!!

I'm glad we had this discussion…

Now that we've done that…* ~The Story!~*

History Repeats Itself 

A hand rapped on the door of the classroom, the sound of the knock echoing through the cold dungeons. 

"Enter." Severus didn't look up.

A young woman opened the door and walked in. A determined, brave look masked her features. Inside she was a wreck. Nervous, afraid, worried… 

She cleared her throat. "You wanted to see me, Professor?"

Severus finished the paper he was grading, taking his time. He let her squirm for a few extra seconds as he wrote down the grade ("D"- the sixth one so far).  Finally, he put the quill down and looked up at her. "Yes, unfortunately so, Miss Granger. Have a seat." He stood and gestured to a desk. 

            She did as he bid, praying this wasn't about *that* night's meeting. 

It was.

"Miss Granger, I was curious as to what motivation you could have possibly received from Potter and Weasley to give you any notion that you could pull such a prank on *me?*"

"S-sir," the girl shook her head. "I – I don't understand. What pra-"

"You know very well what I mean, Miss Granger!" Hermione flinched. The fact that her potions teacher was a good foot taller than her when she stood didn't help the situation as he now towered over her. "Last night we had a discussion outside the school." 

Hermione turned her head away, for fear her eyes would betray her.  She knew *exactly* what was coming.

"*You* were out of bed and I excused you for your rule breaking. And how did you repay me?" He lowered his voice, "By making a fool out of me." Hermione was silent, still turned away.

"Do you know where I went today, Miss Granger?" Hermione's eyes closed, not wanting to know, dying to hear. She shook her head. "I paid a visit to Lucius Malfoy today. Do you have any idea what we discussed?" Again, the shaking of the head, though Hermione did have some idea. She closed her eyes. No crying. Not here, not now,* not* in front of *him.* "I asked Mr. Malfoy if he knew that your son was having an affair with you." His voice was low, menacing. It was worse than having him yell at her. She could hate him when he yelled at her, but when he talked like that. His voice so low, so calm, and yet shaking with anger withheld. 

Hermione's eyes squeezed tight. And still he continued. 

"But of course, Mr. Malfoy *hadn't* known, had he? Why do you think that's so?" He was answered with more silence.  "Please, enlighten me, Miss Granger. Show me how much you know. You certainly enjoy doing it in class. I don't even have to encourage you. Severus' tone changed from sarcastic and cold to plain mean. He started using the names that his own Slytherins used for her. He wished later that he hadn't- it was so utterly below him- but he did not frankly caring at the time. "McGonagall's favorite little know-it-all. Her little teacher's pet."   He spat the words. 

All the while, he knew he shouldn't stoop to that level- so childish, so *immature*- but God! It felt so good! To let go of it all, to release it all after so long. This was sixteen years of anger- sixteen years of hate, of pain, of longing, of remorse, of *guilt,* pouring from the man. He didn't notice how the Granger girl was shaking, or how she vainly tried to stop a tear from trailing slowly down her cheek. Didn't notice anything at all. *Besides,* he thought. *Granger is a strong girl- she'll live. I'm just the bastard potions teacher, cruel, unfair Professor Snape.* But these thoughts just made the Professor even more bitter. And by the end of that evening, he would go too far with his scolding. Too far for a girl with a broken heart.

"Well, well, well!" he mocked her. "She can't answer! For the first time, the great Hermione Granger can't answer the question!" He hissed, "Because you *weren't* seeing Draco, *were* you?" She replied no differently to this question than she had to his others. With silence. But this time, Severus was angered by it. "WERE YOU?" He bellowed, shaking with rage. Hermione whimpered pathetically under his fierce glare. "WERE YOU… OR WEREN'T YOU… INVOLVED… WITH… DRACO… MALFOY? ANSWER ME!"

She shook her head.  "No…no…" she sobbed.

He lowered his voice again to above a whisper. "Yet still, you and that Potter and Weasley decided to have some fun, didn't you? Decided to play a trick on Professor Snape. It doesn't matter if the bastard gets hurt, does it? Because he's just that. A bloody bastard with no heart, isn't he?"

"That's not fair!" Protested Hermione, tears free falling to the floor. "It's not true!"

"Oh, don't think I don't know what they call me in the Gryffindor Common Room- or the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff ones, for matter."

"Yes," Hermione replied angrily, standing up and collect herself. "And I know what they call me in the Slytherin Common Room. And believe me, 'Sir.' You weren't the person who informed me. Good evening, Professor." She managed to stay calm enough to walk proudly-though briskly- through the door. But she was unable to hide the quick, pounding steps of her running and the chorus of sobbing that erupted the minute she closed the door.

~*~*~

Severus sat down at his desk and toyed with his quill. He was beginning to regret almost every single word he'd said at their meeting. Bloody hell, if she hadn't thought he was a bastard before, then she most certainly did now. *Control your temper, Severus…*__

::flashback::

"Sevi, you know you really must learn to control your temper." They were outside, hiding behind Hagrid's hut (He had been the only one who knew of their relationship, after he'd figured it out himself and confronted them about it). He sat on a stool that he'd magicked up, and she stood in front of him, hands placed firmly on hips.

"I know, Gabi." He used her nickname seldom, though sometimes, he was lazy and called her by it. He did much prefer Gabriella, though. Such a beautiful name- just like it's owner... "I try…" He put his arms around her, pulling her close.

"Oh, don't give me the whole 'I try' business," she teased. "You 've used it up, you know."

"Shucks!" He snapped his fingers playfully. "It just doesn't work any more. Now what to do?" He paused as if in thought. "Oh, I know…" He brought her close for a kiss…

::end of flashback::

 He sighed. It always had to be so difficult, hadn't it? He pulled a chain out from under his robes, where he hid it, and removed it from his neck. Using the key hey kept on it, he unlocked a drawer in his desk (Of course, he'd spelled it against Alohomora; the only thing that worked to open it was a genuine key, and he had the only copy). Out of it, he pulled an old newspaper that was in good condition. He closed his eyes, and recited the headline to himself, not even needing to glance at the paper. "Popular Gryffindor of Hogwarts School Mysteriously Disappeared." How many times had he read that paper over and over to himself in his youth, not wishing to believe it? But it was true, it was so very true. He'd kicked himself a hundred times over again for what he'd done to her, wondering if her disappearance had been his fault. When they parted that fateful night in the bushes, he would never see her again. 

They would send out search parties for her in the months to come, and find nothing. Finally, they would give up, and declare her a missing person. Her possessions would be given to charity. She was an orphan, so she had no relatives. Her name was spoken little 'round Hogwarts, for the seldom times it was mentioned sent a chill through any room- heated or not. It was a constant reminder of the rising evil- the mysterious bodies being found in the dead of night, the strange happenings in Hogsmeade. They hadn't known of Voldemort at that time, but they'd known of something, some rising dark.  The next years would be the hardest in the life of Severus Snape. By the time he would join death eater ranks, everyone else would have forgotten Gabriella.

He closed his eyes, and shuddered, feeling a lump of tears in his throat. Putting the paper back, he locked the drawer, replaced the chain around his neck, and returned his focus to his grading.  *Do not waste your time with stories of the past, Severus,* he chastened himself. *They are the past, and that it was they shall remain.*

But history repeats itself. And this time, history would deal the Potions Master a terrible blow.

~*~*~

A/N: Duh, duh, duh!!!!! Cliffy, yes I know. ::grin:: I like cliffies. They're fun (but not when *I'm* reading them so I'll hurry up with the next chapter, k?)

Vimh: ::muffled voice:: Can I come out now? 

Me: Fine. ::frees him:: Why don't you go visit Lataradk? I'm sure she'll enjoy your company…

Vimh: Yay! Oh, and by the way, Miracle?

Me: Yes? 

Vimh: "The Odyssey." ::runs out before Miracle can catch him::

Me: Oooh! That little! I'll get him, I will. ::puts a determined look on her face:: ::nods::

DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please?


	4. A Teacher's Resentment, a Student's Requ...

A/N: I'm baaaaack! Mwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Anyhow, I'll try not to make this *too* long, just a reply I want to make to some of my reviews…

Strega Brava said: I hereby dub thee the Queen of Cliffhangers. ::collapses on floor clutching heart::   
  
BTW...love the new word and I am going to use it here. Amazellent. Really nicely done! 

My Reply: Oh, thank you, thank you… I like my word as well. Glad that you do too. Hrmmm…. And I like my new name, too! Miracle, Queen of Cliffhangers… yes it has a certain… *ring* to it, don't you think? =)

  
Strega Brava said: Severus just needs a good, swift kiss on the lips. 

My Reply: And I would be very willing to give it to him. If he would let me, that is… ::refuses to believe that he isn't real::  
  
Strega Brava said: Next chapter please!! 

My reply: Coming right up! Would you like fries with that, m'am?

***

Lataradk said: "It was worth waiting for, this chapter. Poor Hermione, having to deal with an enraged Snape _and_ a broken heart. I liked the flashback to a younger and less bitter and guarded Severus, and the fact that Gabriella wasn't that famous. (It should give Hermione a challenge in finding out who she was, 'cause I'm sure Hermione is bright enough to add two and two together from the first meeting with Snape and his behaviour now. She might want to use it to get back to him - or to understand him better. Or very Hermione-like, just to sate her curiousity).   
  
Vimh: Wanna know what happens next? Fresh out of Miracle's mind?   
  
Me: Wouldn't that be cheating?   
  
Vimh: Yeah, but think of it as rent for staying with you.   
  
Me: Aww, you don't have to pay for that, it's a pleasure! We could discuss Homer ... *realizes the death glare from Miracle* Somewhere else."

My Reply: Hey, Lataradk! I'm glad you liked the chapter. Especially the flashback. I was afraid too many people would be mad at me for that because it's very OOC and he already *is* rather OOC in this story. So happy you picked up on the fact that he was *supposed* to be that way, because this means other people may as well. Believe me... Hermione know more about Gabriella than you think *Much* more. =) Erm, Vimh? Sorry to remind you, but you only know the old version of the story. 

Vimh: What? But-

Me: My muses currently have the only copy of the real version. They're working on it, putting the finishing touches on all of it and tying up lose ends.

Vimh: Drat those muses.

Me: ::grin:: ::to audience:: As well as Vimh and Vimhaletta, I also have three muses, who are the ones that actually *give* me the ideas for stories. They also help do all my editing and such. I think they're wonderful!

Vimh: They're a pain in the arse.

Me: ::grin:: Vimh and Vimhaletta hate them. Anyhow, I'm no longer fed up with Homer, so you may discuss it here. And Vimh? Time to come home now. You've been welcomed back to my head. Come over!

Vimh: Oh, I'm quite fine here. I'll just stay, OK?

Me: NOW!

Vimh: Yes, m'am. OK, m'am. ::come back to Miracle's head:: 

Me: Much better. ::locks him back in his room:: 

Vimh: Hey!!!

Me: Stay there for now. When I'm done with the chapter you can come out.

Vimh: No good… ::grumble, grumble::… evil…::grumble, grumble::… new head… ::grumble, grumble::…

Me: And now, the story!

Disclaimer at bottom.

**A Teacher's Resentment, a Student's Request**

Two years passed by quickly.

Draco Malfoy disappeared from Hogwarts in his sixth year. Severus saw him at the next Death Eater meeting, where he stood proudly next to his father. At the same meeting, Severus was revealed- by Lucius Malfoy, forever obsessed with being first in his Master's eyes.  Severus had managed to escape, though. He still didn't know quite sure how, just as he wasn't sure how Lucius had found out about him. He had a hunch, though, that he must have had more than one or two slips and that Lucius must have caught on. But that was just about where his life as a spy had ended. He had been sure that that would be when he'd have to leave Hogwarts as well, but Dumbledore had let him stay. Why he did not know, but then again, he wasn't complaining, either.

Hermione excelled in her studies as usual. She had been working with McGonagall over the past year and a half or so on being an animagus- at least, that was what Severus could tell from listening to conversations in the teacher's lounge. Also according to what Severus had overheard, she had been making fast progress and was almost done with her studies. Soon she'd be ready to transform for the first time. Severus couldn't help but wonder what her animal counterpart would be. But he hadn't joined in the excited discussions of Lupin (he'd come back as D.A.T.D.A. professor, much to Severus's… *disappointment*.* Let's just say he stormed about for days and even Dumbledore couldn't get a word out of him that hadn't dripped with sarcasm. When the students came back at the start of term, they were more terrified than ever of the man) and McGonagall as they talked about their brightest student and the Head Girl of Hogwarts. He never talked about Hermione, often pretending the girl didn't exist. When he did say a word to her in classes, it was to scold her for helping Longbottom or something or other like that. Petty things that didn't really matter. But, if nothing else, Severus Snape was a man who held a grudge. And the one he held against Hermione could very well be ranked with the long-standing one for the Potters. 

It didn't help that every time he looked at the girl, she reminded him of Gabriella. Bloody hell, they could have been twins for all he could say. He avoided her whenever he could. He didn't need a *human* reminder of what he'd lost. He already had memories for that. 

            Graduation day neared. Finally, there was less than a week left, and Hermione would be graduating as valedictorian and Head Girl- with grades that rivaled McGonagall herself. Severus had scowled and muttered something that sounded distinctly like, "Of course? Why not? Give the damn girl an Order of Merlin, why don't you? And just make it first class while you're at it!" McGonagall overheard this, though, and she couldn't help but smirk at the fact that *Severus Snape* seemed to be jealous of a *Gryffindor.* When she said half as much to the man, though, he'd angrily denied it and stormed out grumbling about papers to grade for the next day- which was utter nonsense since it was a Saturday. Severus didn't realize his mistake until later. It did *not* improve his mood. 

            It wasn't that he didn't *see* the bags under Hermione's eyes. He saw them, you can be sure of that. He also saw how the girl was never really herself in class. She never raised her hand, never defied him like she used to (though, for the sake of sanity, Severus often convinced himself that he saw anger in them from time to time). She'd become submissive, meek, a quiet shadow of her former self. Her potions were still by far the best in the class, but she no longer held a familiar burning pride in her eyes at them. She'd use to hold a bright enthusiastic love for learning. Now, it seemed to have become more of a "just get the job done" sort of thing. Of course, it wasn't as bad for the rest of her classes, but the other professors had been talking about the girl frequently, worried for her. Her love for learning had faded a bit for each class. Even McGonagall had mentioned once or twice that she missed the keen, eager mind of the Head Girl, even while she boasted about the girl's speed in her animagus studies.

            Yes, Severus had noticed. And he had seen. But he refused to accept. Or at least, to acknowledge the fact that he had anything to do with her behavior. He treated her just as he used to; with harsh, scalding sarcasm, and impossible to reach grades. One day, though, a certain student decided to tell Hogwart's stubborn Potions Master just exactly how far it had gotten. 

~*~*~

Severus Snape loomed over the seventh years. "If you cared any bit about your grades, which is highly doubtable, I would suggest that you read the homework tonight. I expect you to be working on your own tomorrow. There will be absolutely *no* helping each other in tomorrow's class." He glared at Hermione, who looked away, anger on her face. At least, that was what he told himself it was. *Severus, you idiot,* he chided himself. *Of course that's what it is! You're insane to think it could be pain.* He turned his head to the other half of the classroom, clearing his thoughts. "Class dismissed!" He barked, sending the seventh years off in a flutter of papers. 

All except one.

Severus sat down at his desk, ready to start grading papers for the evening. A student with untidy black hair and green eyes that now were sparkling stubbornly walked up to his desk. He looked up from the essays at the sound of a throat being cleared. He sighed inwardly and scowled. 

"No, Potter, you don't have detention today. For once you managed to do an acceptable job in my class. Now please, get out."

"No. Professor I-" His voice cracked. Severus felt like chuckling. To substitute, he merely raised an eyebrow. His seventh year and Potter was still intimidated by his potions teacher as if he were eleven. He watched as the younger man took a breath and strengthened his resolve. "Sir, I have a request," he said simply.

"No, Potter, I *won't* raise your grades unless you earn them. You are dismissed." He returned to his grading.

"This isn't about me, Professor!" Harry nearly yelled, frustrated. 

"That's a first." Severus didn't look up.

"Would you listen!" It was more of a shout than a question.

He looked up this time, eyebrows raised. "*Tone*, Potter." He watched him, waiting for him to continue.

Harry calmed down a bit. "It's about Hermione." Severus blinked at the mention of the girl, and his scowl deepened, but he said nothing, waiting for the younger man to continue. "Look. I know you have some personal vendetta against me and my father. But that's no reason to be cruel to my *friends!* They haven't done anything wrong. Why don't you give them a break in class? Especially Hermione! You're horrible to her in class!"

"If Miss Granger has a problem in my class, it is no one's fault but herself. If she will not allow others to learn on their-"

"Oh, that's bull, Professor, and you know it!"

 Had the boy really just interrupted him to use that sort of language? "I had no idea your language could be so... *colorful,* Potter. Tell me, would you like me to give you one detention as well as taking away ten points from your house?"

Harry's eyes narrowed. "Fine," he hissed. "Don't listen. I shouldn't have wasted my breath." He turned around to leave, but stopped, turned back, and said, rather sarcastically: "Did you know? She cries herself to sleep. You're such a bastard to her in class, that she hasn't ever gone one night of sleep without tears. Why she gives such a damn, I don't know, but she does. Just thought you might like knowing." He turned to leave again, and started walking towards the door with his things.

"And how might you know this, Potter? Sneaking into girls' dormitories… Has McGonagall heard?"

Harry rounded on him. This time, he really *did* yell. "The whole of bloody Gryffindor Tower knows it!!! It's a miracle that *McGonagall* doesn't know yet! She's been doing it for two years straight, and it got worse this year. Ever since the middle of our fifth year, I have had to see my best friend suffer and not be able to do anything about it, because for some reason, God knows *what,* she blames herself for not up to *your* bloody impossible standards. And the fact that *you* don't give a damn… Well, I guess we all knew what kind of person you were now, didn't we? No matter *what* side you say you're on. Good day, Professor Snape." With that, the boy turned on his heel, and walked out the door with a slam.

And Professor Severus Snape, rather abashed, returned to his essays, not really reading them as he marked them all with C's.

He couldn't *wait* until graduation day.

*~*~*

Disclaimer: I do not own anything, save the plot. Oh, and Gabriella in a kinda, sorta, off-hand way. OK? Understood???? Very good.

 You are dismissed. 

Thank you for attending Miracle's Class of Highly Annoying, Pointless Disclaimers and Such.

Don't forget to do your homework and review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::grin:: Hugs to all my reviewers and readers that have made it this far in the story, by the way. I mean. If you're this far, that must mean you like it! I know I don't mention you all. It's partly because I'm too lazy and partly because I don't have time… Sorry! But do know that I love the reviews. They make me sooo happy when I'm blue…. Or red or green for that matter (!?!?). Thank you!

Oh, and thanks to Lataradk, my wonderful beta! Special hugs, Lataradk!

REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Free to Just Let Go

A/N:..............

::digs self out from under pile of homework::   ::sighs:: Finally! I'm free! I'm free! ::looks at threatening boulders of work above:: For a week at least…..

And I shall spend this freedom writing my fics!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Hurries off to her muses:: Let the story begin! Disclaimer at bottom. 

****

**Free to Just Forget **

_Graduation day, _thought Severus. Thank God. There was only one thing that was better than a group of students graduating and leaving the school to him: A group of students that included Harry Potter and Hermione Granger graduating and leaving the school. Not to mention Neville Longbottom.

The teachers and students had the day off. Ceremonies would begin at six in the Great Hall. There would be about thirty to forty minutes of speeches, a quick one by Dumbledore followed by a longer speech by McGonagall, and a speech by the valedictorian, which varied depending on how stupid the student was. Following that would be the Graduation feast, and then they would all retire. Severus would usually, to please Dumbledore and no one else, stay for the feast, though he wasn't required to. He didn't plan on staying this year.

After a quick bath, in which he ignored his hair as usual, Severus considered wearing one of his good robes for today, to celebrate the fact that the students were leaving. He decided against it. Someone else might take it in a completely wrong way and think he was actually celebrating the _graduation_ of the students, rather than their _departure._

Severus had decided to read for a majority of the day. Looking over all the books he'd been meaning to read for sometime now, he selected a particularly large tome from his personal library, connected to his rooms by a large obsidian black door. As he closed this, he fingered the chain around his neck pensively, a habit he'd had for years now, though no one had picked up on it except for Dumbledore. He was lost in thought for a few moments, dark eyes focusing on nothing at all, before shaking his head slightly, and sitting down in an armchair near a fireplace that had been unused for years. 

He opened the book, and was soon lost in his reading, as old ways to make new potions and new ways to make old ones quickly filled his thoughts and the misery that had been haunting for years were soon chased away. For the time being that is.

~*~*~

            The Great Hall was as festive as ever. Decked in ribbons of red and gold, green and silver, blue and bronze, and yellow and black, it was a magnificent medley of color. Personally, Severus thought it was all too bright. It was beginning to give him a headache. He couldn't wait to return to the dungeons. 

The ceremonies were not as long as he'd expected them to be. It was mainly because the Hermione's speech was actually rather short, contrary to Severus' beliefs. If he hadn't been acting the way he was and holding such a grudge towards the girl, though, he, like most of the school, would have been surprised at the fact that she even **_gave_** the speech, given her state lately. But she managed to write something short, and she wore a new set of robes that Lavender and Parvati had bought for her. They'd even gotten her to put on some make-up, so that she didn't look half as tired and worn out as she usually did. In fact, Ron and several other boys noticed, she actually looked more than half-decent. Pretty, even.

Her speech, short as it was, was very well done, Severus admitted to himself. She was a good public speaker as well, only faltering once, as she reached the part about the professors at Hogwarts. This earned Severus many obvious glares from the Gryffindor table, but they were of course ignored. 

Finally, the speeches were over, and Dumbledore stood up again. He read out the names of each student in alphabetical order, and each student, in turn, walked up to the podium where they accepted a scroll of parchment from Dumbledore, and shook his hand, before shaking hands with all of the professors. Most of them gave Severus a quick, limp shake before hurrying on and giving Lupin, who stood next to him, a warm smile.

The name "Harry Potter" was heard throughout the hall, and it erupted in cheers. Severus sneered, and Lupin elbowed him as he clapped. Severus glared at the werewolf, but Lupin merely raised both eyebrows at him, amused. Severus scowled, and reluctantly gave the boy one, and no more than one, clap.  He watched lazily as The Boy Who Lived blushed crimson and accepted his scroll, then moved down the line of professors.  Hagrid grinned at him and gave him a hard slap on the back, causing the boy to stumble a bit and smile weakly at the half-giant. 

Minerva gave him a proud smile, and he smiled back awkwardly. But when he reached Severus, the smile vanished. He narrowed his eyes and Severus scowled in return, but held out a hand to the boy, as was expected. Harry shook it with a firm hand, still glaring at the older man. Soon though, the glare softened, as he withdrew his hand and happily turned towards Lupin.

Severus watched as Hermione walked up to each of her professors and shook their hands. She beamed at all of them, and Flitwick even had some tears in his eyes. The potions master rolled _his _eyes. For such a small wizard, that man could get awfully emotional. Hagrid gave her a hug, knocking the breath out of her, no doubt. But she soon recovered and moved on down the line. The girl stopped at Minerva and threw her arms around her Transfiguration professor. Something inside Severus twisted when he saw how close they'd become. He didn't know why, but he felt… **_jealous_**_?_  _Have you gone mad, Severus? _he chastised himself. _Two seconds ago you despised her as much as the Potters and now you're jealous of Minerva's friendship with the girl? What in the world is wrong with you?_

            Finally, Hermione came to him. She held out her hand, and held her head up high, though he noticed she did it with some difficulty. He looked at it, sneered, and looked up at her face. Big mistake.  Their eyes met and what Severus saw there unnerved him. In her eyes was not hatred. There was no disgust, no revulsion, not even a sign of relief that this would be the last time that she would have to be relatively polite to him. Instead... Severus dared not to try and name the emotions that stormed through the girl's eyes.  And those eyes… those eyes… they were so... hauntingly... _familiar..._

"Professor?"

He snapped back. Her hand still hung, empty in the air. He met her eyes again, and once more was taken aback. They seemed to plead with him, to beg him for something, yet what it was he didn't know. Didn't _want_ to know.

He could have taken her hand. Could have ended both of their misery there and then. Could have healed two hearts at once. But Severus Snape had a grudge. A grudge that he would regret for years to some.

Severus turned away. 

"Good day, Miss Granger." His words were laced with hatred.

She continued to look up at him, her eyes searching his face beseechingly, but when he said nothing else, she shook her head sadly and moved on to Lupin, who gathered her into his arms in a warm, comforting hug, bringing a small, weak, but grateful smile to the girl's face. The werewolf smiled back. Severus watched her as she walked back to her fellow Gryffindors. He felt a stab in his side, and glared at Lupin. The werewolf glared back, his amber eyes reprimanding him quietly. Severus rolled his eyes again. The _last _thing he needed was that _monster_ telling him off (or anyone else for that matter). But the eyes bore into him the rest of the evening.

When the ceremonies were over, Severus slipped away not even staying to enjoy the first five minutes of the feast. When he muttered the excuse that he wasn't hungry, none of his colleagues believed him, but they weren't surprised either, considering it _was _Harry Potter's graduation. 

 Severus was, all in all, _very_ relieved when the whole thing was over and he was relaxing in his rooms, where he was free to just put everything out of his mind and, for just one time, pretend that that night so long ago in the bushes had never taken place. Free… to just forget.

~*~*~

A/N: This chapter was supposed to be longer but I just decided to end it here. Aren't I evil? I'm just stretching this fic out for all it's worth, aren't I? ::shrug:: Heck, I know it's pathetic, but it's what I do!

::notices Vimh pounding against the wall of his room:: ::blinks:: Oh yeah! Vimh! Forgot about you! ::lets him out:: 

Vimh: ::notices that *two* new chapters were put up in his absence:: Hey! You said you'd let me out after the last chapter!

Me: ::shrug:: I lied. Deal with it. ::notices Vimh's angry face:: Oooh, look! Here comes the disclaimer!

Vimh: ::turns his head in the direction of said disclaimer:: Huh?

:: Miracle runs away::

Disclaimer:  Just to remind those of you who may have forgotten because of my wonderful writing abilities (::snort::), I am not a goddess. ::sarcastic:: Hard to believe, I'm sure. Harry Potter and Co. belong to the goddess J.K. Rowling, and I must grovels at her feet.  SO DON'T SUE!!!!!!!

On the same idea, I'd like to believe that the plot is my own idea, so let's keep it that way, all right!?! And Gabriella is kinda, sorta, in a way mine. 

::end of disclaimer::

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. The night that he forgets about? Yeah, well there might be a confusion as to which one I meant. The one with Hermione, or the one with Gabriella? I have one answer: Both.

Anyway, thanks to all my reviewers so far-especially the ones who are reading this right now!  It means that you like the story good enough to continue reading!

And special hugs to Lataradk, my beta!!!

Hugs to all!

-Miracle


	6. Explanations and Regrets aka The End!

A/N: Yay! It's time for the truly sappy chapter! But be warned, it may be sappy, but it ain't fluff! So, watch out! 

You also get to find out just how well Hermione knows Gabriella. 

Oh yeah, a note for the better enjoyment of this chapter: It would be a good idea to **not** read through this quickly.  I had a couple minor incidents with previewers becase they read quickly. PICK UP DETAILS! They are essential to this chapter!

 Enjoy!

**Explanations and Regrets**

The next day, Severus was busy in his classroom. He was working: straightening up things, throwing out old papers, noting which supplies he was low on in his storerooms, and other such things. Many of the teachers saved this until the end of summer, when they came back and started preparing for the next year. But Severus had always been something of a perfectionist, and Gabriella had frequently teased him about it (but he'd always teased her back because, if **he** was a perfectionist, she was two times as picky as was). 

So, naturally, he hated leaving the room untidy over the summer and now was determinedly putting it in come sort of decent order. He was cleaning the counters where the students' cauldrons stood (He was happy to finally get rid of the marks where Longbottom had worked. He never bothered to before; they would always be back by the end of the first semester. _I swear, _thought Severus, _that boy is as horrible as his father in the subject_), when there was a knock on the door. He scowled a bit, hating to interrupt his work, and left the rag on the counter before going to answer it. When he opened the door and saw who it was, his scowl grew.

"Miss Granger, shouldn't you be on the train right now?" He stood in the doorway, glaring down at the witch.

"I have fifteen minutes still. My things are already on the train." She explained.

"And what, pray tell, made you decide to spend your last minutes as a student down here in the dungeons?"

"I have some unfinished business, Professor."

He raised his eyebrow and waited for her to continue.

She hesitated and looked over his shoulder. "Can I come in?"

He moved out of the way for her a gestured for her to go ahead. Shutting the door behind her, he faced her and crossed his arms, his eyebrow raised as he waited for an explanation.

Before starting, she just looked at him. He kept his scowl, but he studied the girl's face. Again, he was met with something that wasn't the typical hatred that he had grown accustomed to. Sorrow and regret lined her face, and, without him realizing it, the scowl was wiped from his face. His forehead furrowed slightly in confusing. 

Finally, she sighed and shook her head, looking down. The scowl returned to Severus' face.  She opened her mouth then closed it, as if searching for the right words. She looked up again at him, and then, when she seemed to make up her mind, she held out a brown package to him. There was letter attached. "This is for you, Professor. All you need to know is in there."

            Severus's eyes narrowed a bit as he took the parcel from her. While he was still studying it, she nodded. "Until we meet again, Professor." And with that, she turned and headed towards the door before he could say anything. But on her way out, she paused and turned back. "By the way, not all your students hate you... Sevi."

Severus looked up with a start at her words. But, she'd already left. He stared at the doorway where she had stood just moments before. Finally, his eyes traveled back to the parcel. Quickly, he sat down at his desk and undid the ties that bound it. Inside, he found a time turner and an envelope. He opened the envelope to find a ring- _his_ ring. _Gabriella's_ ring. Setting it on the desk, he hurriedly pulled out the letter that was also concealed in the envelope and read it out loud to himself.

"My dearest Severus,

This ring is yours. It always has been and it always will be.  As with the heart of the one that gave it to you. 

Sevi, I know you probably despise me by now, but I need to tell you that I am sorry. I don't care if you won't listen. I'm sorry for everything that went wrong. If I had ever known what I would done-"

The letter stopped abruptly, as if the author didn't know how to finish the sentence. Severus continued to read the rest of it. 

"I need you to know that I never meant for anything like this to ever happen. And I need you to know that, whatever happens, I'll always love you, and I always have."

His voice cracked as he read the signature:

"Love always, 

Your Gabriella,

Hermione Granger"

"No," he whispered, as he looked at the time turner and put two and two together. "No, no, no, no, no…"

Fifteen minutes. She'd said she had fifteen minutes. How long had he wasted here? He didn't have time to check or to think; he had to catch her before the train left. He had to catch her, and then he could sort everything out. Letter still in hand, he dashed out of his classroom and through the dungeons. He ran, and ran, and ran.  Outside- he had to get outside. If only he could make it there in time-

He pushed through the great doors that lead to the entrance of the school- to see the train starting to pull out of the station. He stumbled to a stop. He did not sob; he did not wallow in self-misery, for Severus Snape did not do such things. He just stood there and watched the train leave and take his heart, his love, his Gabriella, his *Hermione,* away with it. And as he did, a look of anguish crossed his features.  

The look left his face quickly, though, and he turned and walked back into the castle as if nothing had just happened. His face was blank and expressionless.

 It wasn't until he'd entered his classroom that he seemed to have realized what happened. She was gone. She'd left...and she was never coming back. The next time he saw her she'd probably be Mrs. Weasley and have her own set of redheaded children.

            The pain of losing her hit him again. It had been horrible the first time, and hurt no less, if not more, this time He felt his knees buckle beneath him. He fell to his knees on the cold stone floor, his shoulders shaking. He hadn't cried since... since last time. Last time, when she'd left him, and last time, when they'd found her missing the next morning. He'd always blamed himself. Now he finally knew where she'd gone, and he'd lost her again. Wretched, shaking sobs cut through the icy dungeon air. "Gabriella!" He cried. "Gabriella!" His voice was a whisper. "Hermione..." He gave a shaky sigh. "Oh, why? Why didn't you tell me?"  

~

Hermione stood on the train as it started to leave. She watched Hogwarts from her window. She was leaving the school, and with it her heart. If only she'd known that all this would happen... she would have never used the time turner, she would have never lied to Severus... 

She'd once again decided that year to take more than enough classes, and she once again needed the time turner to fit everything in. She didn't quite know what had caused her to be so rash and use the time turner to go back so far. 

Perhaps she'd thought she could go back in time and, if she was careful, she could just change a few things. Maybe even rid the world of Voldemort before he ever became the Dark Lord. It had been a foolish idea. She'd just been so _tired._ Tired of the war. Tired of fighting. Tired of always being scared. Of never knowing who to _trust_. Tired of being _tired_. She'd wished it would all just end. And she'd thought that she could make it end.  Then they'd killed her parents. That had been more than she could bear. It had been the last straw for her. That was when she'd made up her mind to go. The decision had taken less than two minutes to decide; it would change her entire life.

For things hadn't gone as planned. She'd made friends.  Each time she thought of going back, she thought of them. They would be dead in her time. And each time she'd thought she'd wait just a little longer. And a little bit longer. And then a little bit longer than that.

Then, she'd met _him. _He had been _amazing_. So wonderfully _different_ from the dark man she'd known him to be in her time. He'd taught her so much. He was a genius. He really was. His talent with potions was incredible. And he'd almost been top of his class in Defense Against the Dark Arts. The only person better than him was James.

And then she'd made the worst mistake ever. Even worse than her decision to travel back in time.

She fell in love.

And she'd ripped out both of their hearts by doing so.  She supposed that the incident with the ring had been for the better; it was easier then to leave. To let them all go, and return back to her time. Oh, but it had hurt! It had been so horrible. She'd come back, and she'd wept, in a sorry attempt to feel better. And then he'd found her again. Not the old him, but the present version of him. She'd gotten prepared for some sarcastic comment, but he hadn't told her off. Hadn't taken points away from her house. He'd been so…_nice. _Almost like the old version of him. But she had to lie to him of course. She could never tell him the truth at the time. But when he put his arms around her! To hold him again; to breathe in his scent one last time. It had been more than she'd thought she'd ever be allowed to feel again. And yet now, she knew she would never have him again. 

She was thinking these thoughts when she saw a figure burst out of the school. She saw the look on his face and almost sobbed. He looked so sad... so sad. And it was all her fault-

"Hermione! Look at this!" Ron called her over. 

She stood at the window a bit longer, watching as he went inside. She'd have to go see what it was Ron was shouting about eventually, though. She sighed; she was in no mood to answer her friends' questions. She closed her eyes to tears that threatened to spill.

"Forgive me, love," she whispered before she finally turned from the window. "I had not known."

~*~*~

            A/N: Yes, my friends. Sadly, 'tis the end. But do not fear! I _might_ do an epilogue. Depends on the feedback I get.

I hope you all enjoyed it, though. It was fun to write!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and Co. and now you all know why I kinda, sorta, not really own Gabriella.

The plot is mine therefore it is not yours! So don't take it!

::end of disclaimer::

Hugs to all! Thank you for reading! And a special thanks to Lataradk! Who helped me out throughout the whole story, on paper and off paper! Thanks Lataradk!

-Miracle 


	7. Epilogue

A/N: I lied. Last chapter was not **the** sappy chapter. This is. And it has fluff too!!! Yay! Actually, I'm afraid I might disappoint some people with the Epilogue because it's rather… old romance-novel-ish…  It's sappy and sickly-sweet, so be warned!!!!!

And of course,  in **my** world, a sappy Snape-chapter means a sappy and therefore OOC Snape, so be warned – again!!!

And, if you want to blame anything for this chapter of sickly-sweet happiness, go blame _Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves_for the idea and _Sense and Sensibility_ for my choice of words for them. Especially for Severus' part… (Alan Rickman looks **sooo **good in the wedding scene!!! Snape should wear more red, he really should…)

Yes, all your reviews persuaded me to make them happy.  I like my story being, as Gethsemane put it, "wonderfully poignant," but heck, I got so many people asking for an epilogue, I figured I'd write one. After I got over my bout of writers' block, that is.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything save the plot. The song, "A Thousand Miles," and its lyrics belong to Vanessa Carlton. Harry Potter and Co. belong to J.K. Rowling. DO NOT SUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you.

::end of disclaimer::

Enjoy!

**_Epilogue_**

_Five years after Hermione's graduation, summertime…_

             Severus sat in his room, hunched over a muggle adventure book that he'd read so many times already he'd lost count. It was one of his favorites and he'd read it over and over, sometimes in less than an hour. But today, it was hard to get past the second chapter. He'd been staring at page thirty-seven for about ten minutes, and he was still on the second line. 

            Finally, he gave up. Sighing, he closed the book, and stood up. He was restless.  He needed to take a walk, yet a stroll around the castle grounds was not exactly what he was thinking of.  Finally, he headed over to a closet and selected a black cloak. He changed into some muggle clothes, before throwing the cloak over the whole outfit and heading out to the Forbidden Forest. He walked until he reached the border of the forest and of Hogwarts, before disapparating.

**_Making my way down town   
Walking fast  
Faces pass   
And I'm home bound_**

**_Staring blankly ahead  
Just making my way  
Making a way  
Through the crowd_**

****

He apparated in London. Why he chose the muggle city he didn't know.  It just felt like the place to go – though, he realized, it wasn't exactly the place most people would go to when they wanted to have a nice walk. He didn't have any specific place to go, so he just started walking, losing himself in his thoughts. The thoughts that been haunting him for months now. He made his way through the crowd. Unfamiliar faces passed by.  He paid them no attention, for he was always thinking of _her._

            He remembered how she would always be the first to have her hand up when he asked a question. The way she would always help Longbottom, no matterhow many points he took from Gryffindor or detentions she spent a week. He never used to pay much attention to her before, but somehow, now when the memories came, he thought of things he had never noticed before. The way the sun always caught in her bushy, cinnamon hair. The way her brown eyes would light up at every new piece of information. 

**_And I need you   
And I miss you  
And now I wonder  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time   
Would pass me by  
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you... tonight_**

Hermione sat on a bench outside of the house she shared with her fiancée, holding a flower in her hand. She looked at it idly, not really paying attention. She was thinking of '_him'_ again today. She'd tried over and over to push the thoughts of him away whenever they came to haunt her- after all, she was to be married in two weeks. It wouldn't do to be thinking of '_him'_ when she had so much to look forward to, would it? 

"So much," Hermione whispered, giving a bitter laugh. She shook her head and sighed.  A month ago she had been so sure of herself, so certain that this was what she had wanted. That _Ron_ was what she had wanted.

She was having second thoughts now.

And today, she couldn't push the thoughts of '_him_' away.

It wasn't that she didn't love Ron. But somehow… somehow, when she thought of her future with him, it didn't feel… _right._ At least not as right as it would with '_him.' _

She laughed at herself again. A hollow, joyless laugh, empty of any feeling at all. "Silly girl," she said quietly. "Thinking about that _now?_ A little late, don't you think? Especially after what you did to him."

Suddenly her hand closed in a fist, crushing the flower. Propping her elbow on her knee, she rested her forehead against the fist.  "Oh, Severus…" She murmured.

****

****

**_There's always times like these   
When I think of you  
And I wonder   
If you ever think of me_**

**_  
Cause everything's so wrong  
And I don't belong  
Living in   
Your precious memory_**

****

            She wondered what he was doing now. Probably preparing for the next school year. Maybe he was brewing a potion for Madame Pomfrey. Or reading a book. Or inventing a new potion for something or other. Hermione smiled at that thought. He'd always loved coming up with new ideas. She remembered sitting with him outside the school, while he'd explain to her a new potion that could reduce hair loss – one that was easier to make! – or a potion that could allow a person to eat as much as they wanted, and not gain too much weight. She'd loved listening to him.

            "So brilliant," said Hermione to herself. But she felt a pang of guilt at the memories. Those memories didn't belong to her. She never should have even been there to hear his ideas.

            She wondered if he thought of her now, when it had been so long. She knew it was a foolish thing to think, but she couldn't help but wonder…

She moved her fist down, but kept her hand closed around the crushed flower, not really noticing it was there.

            God, she missed him. Missed him so much…

**_  
  
_**

**_Cause I need you  
And I miss you   
And now I wonder  
If I could fall  
Into the sky  
Do you think time  
Would pass me by, oh  
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you... tonight_**

****

            Severus stopped and looked up to see where his feet had taken him…

…And gasped.

            It seemed that his feet had played traitor to him once again.

He stood in front of the gate of a white picket fence. It opened up to a green, grassy lawn. Sitting proudly on its emerald carpet was an average house. None of this was what shocked Severus. In fact, it wasn't even the bench on the front lawn that had made gasp.

It was who sat on it.

Hermione Granger still looked as beautiful as she had when he'd last seen her, even more so to him. He stared at her for a moment, before realizing that he should leave now if he didn't want her to see him.

            But his eyes had different ideas, and before he could make himself turn away her head whipped up and his eyes met hers. His feet betrayed him again as well, and in seconds he had opened the gate and was headed up the lawn to where she sat. 

****

****

**_  
And I, I don't wanna let you know  
I, I drown in your memory   
I, I don't wanna let this go   
I, I don't..._**

****

****

            Hermione lifted her head to stare nonchalantly down at the street. But her eyes never made it to the asphalt ground.

            Instead, they met the eyes of Severus Snape.

            "I don't believe it," she gasped. But in the mere amount of time it took her to say that he'd already opened the gate and quick, long strides, made his way to the bench.

            She swallowed and stood up. "Professor Snape," she held out a hand. "What a surprise!"

            Severus looked at the hand, and felt a sickening wave of déjà vu. He was brought back to her graduation, that night so long ago. It was _his _turn to swallow.

"Professor?"

            He blinked and looked at Hermione. Again, he was aware of that feeling of experiences replayed.   He took her hand.

"Miss Granger," he said in greeting, before letting go of her hand.

There was an awkward silence.

Finally, Severus couldn't stand it. "Gabriella, I'm so sorry," he said, taking the girl in his arms.

But she pulled away. "Gabriella," she said quietly, not quite daring to meet his eyes, "does not exist."

Severus would not give up though. He took another step forward. "Hermione, then," he corrected himself, but did not reach for her this time. Even, so she took a step back from him and the bench. "Or Margaret, or Marianne, or Elinor!" He cried. Now he pulled he into his arms, and though she turned her head, she did not pull away. "I do not care what name I should call you by, only that it is you who replies!"

            Hermione closed her eyes, tears threatening to spill again. "_I'm_ sorry," she whispered. "I'm so very, very sorry." She pulled away again, looked at the ground. Severus noticed as her right hand went nervously to her left, and fiddled with something there. Severus looked to see what it was.

A gold band adorned her ring finger.  Severus snatched her hand up and stared at it. 

Hermione opened her eyes and looked up at him, afraid of what he might say. She watched his face as confusion, then anger, and then suddenly a calm resignation passed over it. She remained silent.

Finally, he put her hand down. "Who's the lucky man?" He asked quietly.

"Severus," she said quietly, her eyes pleading. She took a step forward and put a hand tentatively on his shoulder.

He jerked away and repeated himself, just as quietly as before, "Come now, Miss Granger, who's the lucky man?" 

Ron Weasley chose this moment to go outside and check on his fiancée.

Seeing Severus, he stepped up behind Hermione and put an arm protectively around her shoulder. "Hermione, love? Are you OK?" He glared at Severus, not even bothering to say hello.

            Severus stared at the couple; his eyes moving first to him, then to her, and then back again. "E-excuse me," he turned around and, just as quickly as he'd come, left the couple standing on their lawn. 

**_  
  
_**

**_Making my way down town   
Waking fast   
Faces pass   
And I'm home bound_**

**_  
Staring blankly ahead   
Making my way  
Making a way   
Through the crowd_**

"Dearest, what was that about?" asked Ron.

Hermione stared after Severus. She closed her eyes in thought. Finally, she made a decision. She would not lose him again. She looked up at he fiancée and best friend. "Nothing, Ron. Nothing." She pulled the ring off her finger and turned to face him.

            Ron looked at her, confused. "Hermione, love, what are you doing?"

            "What I should have done a while ago." She paused to take a breath. "Please, try to understand me when I say this." She hesitated and looked at him. 

"Hermione, dear, put the ring back on your finger and come back inside." Ron's voice was worried.

She shook her head. "I can't."

"What?" Ron laughed nervously. "Of course you can. Don't talk nonsense." He grabbed her hand.

"Ron, _listen._" She pulled away.  "Ron, thank you so much for everything. You've given me more than I've ever deserved. But-" She hesitated. "I- I can't marry you. I- I'm sorry," she blurted out.  Quickly, she handed him the ring, before he could say anything to her. Then she fled, running after Severus, in hopes of catching him before he returned to Hogwarts. 

            And Ron, abashed, stared at the ring in his hand in disbelief, before looking to see the woman he had bought it for, only to find that she'd already gone. 

****

**_  
And I still need you  
And I still miss you   
And now I wonder  
If I could fall into the sky  
Do you think time, would pass us by  
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles   
If I could just see you..._**

Hermione searched the crowd for a black-cloaked figure. Finally, she saw him.

"Severus? Severus!" She called out, but if he'd heard her, he made no sign of it.

She hurried after him, but by the time she'd reached him he'd gone. She spotted him just as he disappeared into an alleyway. Quickly, she ran after him but by the time she'd gotten to the alley he'd disapparated.  Quickly, she apparated to the borders of the Forbidden Forest, but she saw no sign of Severus. Sighing, she transformed. In the shape of a dove, she flew through the forest, searching for Severus. 

She caught a glimpse of him through the trees and landed nearby. After returning to human form, she continued her chase on foot. When she reached hearing distance, she called out, "Severus!"

Severus stopped and turned. He stared at her in disbelief. "Hermione?"

"Severus," Hermione gasped.

He hurried towards her. He did not hold her as he would have liked, but stopped a foot away from her. Regaining his composure he asked, "Miss Granger, what are you doing here? Surely Mr. Weasley-"

"I don't really care about Ron right now." She stepped forward. "Only you."

Severus gave up on civility. He gathered her in his arms and held her close. "Oh, Hermione." He rested his chin on top of her head, relishing in the feeling of holding her again.

Finally, Hermione looked up. Their eyes met and he kissed her softly, gently, as if she were fragile and would break. 

They pulled away. "Severus, I-"

But he placed a finger on her lips, silencing her. "I know."

He kissed her again, this time with more fervor than before. She returned the kiss with a passion greater than she knew she could.

And for the first time since they both could remember, they were happy. Truly happy.

**  
If I could fall into the sky  
Do you think time would pass me by  
Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles  
If I could just see you...  
If I could just hold you... tonight**

**FINIS.**

~*~*~

A/N: ::sigh:: **Now** it's the end. I hope you all enjoyed this. I know I did.

A very, very special thanks to Lataradk! Hugs, Lataradk!

And a thank you for the wonderful response I've received for this. It really **does** make a girl feel good you know.

I also should add something about the names that Severus cries out. I took the liberty of using the names of the three Dashwood sisters, Margaret, Marianne, and Elinor (in order from youngest to oldest) in Sense and Sensibility.  So I'm slightly crazed about it at the moment. So what? 

::A very angry Hermione Granger walks in::

Hermione: 'I don't care about Ron right now, only you?" Are you insane? What in the world were you thinking?

Me: Um… sappy?

::Severus Snape walks in with a look on his face that could kill:: 

Snape: You're mad, woman! 'I do not care what name I should call you by, only that it is you who replies?' That's outrageous! I demand that you change it immediately!

Me: Uh-oh. Rebellion of the characters! I better get out of here! ::runs away::

Hermione: Crap! Where'd she go?

Snape: I don't know, but I hope it's somewhere far away from a computer so that she doesn't **ever** write one of these horrible things she calls fics again!

::somewhere else (I can't tell you where, or else Snape would find me!)::

Miracle: ::typing:: Good, they're gone. Now I can finish. 

Please, do review!

Hugs to all!  
  


-Miracle ::still hiding::

Quick Disclaimer:  Sense and Sensibility belongs to Jane Austen. I am not Jane Austen. I do not own Sense and Sensibility.


End file.
